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I had a new experience today: the discovery that a friend who previously appeared extremely tolerant, open-minded, intelligent, and friendly is vehemently against gay marriage and adoption of children by gay couples.
It was purely one of those random moments in life. I had skipped three speech&debate meetings in a row and had only gone today because the coordinator threatened me. It was random that I chose to sit where I did, and thus listened in as my friend discussed her speech. When she came over to me and sat down and asked what mine was about, that's when it began.
"Gay rights. It's the only topic I know how to write, really."
"Are you gay?" she asked. And because I never lie and I never hide, I said yes. And she asked questions, like how old I had been when I found out (12) and if I had ever had a girlfriend (yes) and then if I wanted to get married. We ended up taking at least an hour debating whether or not the Bible condoned homosexuality (she's very religious, more than I had thought at first) and if children necessarily need "Dad vibes" AND "Mom vibes", or if a child could grow up just as well-rounded with only mothers or only fathers.
She wasn't attacking about it, and I've seen that she's able to attack if she chooses to. She tried to understand but I could tell that she still remained attached to her idea that marriage is a "commitment under God" (her words) and only between a man and a woman. She was suitably shocked when I mentioned the two priests who had gotten married. I can't fault her. She listened to me; she didn't just dismiss everything or throw it back in my face.
But I remain a little disturbed, almost frightened--that this is the kind of deep-rooted belief I will have to convince and work against for the rest of my life. If I want to get married, I'll have to explain WHY marriage and not simply "civil union". We couldn't agree on a definition of marriage; I think we both had this image in our minds which we couldn't vocalize. Vows and rings, right? When I want to have children, I'll have to defend them. And that's not a little scary.
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| 2008-10-28 20:34 |
| Explanations |
| Public |
 morose |
| Poets of the Fall |
| books, nanowrimo |
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The title of my journal is adapted from one of Haruki Murakami's novels, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. In all honesty, I didn't finish that one. I have three or four of his novels; they all seem like they would be excellent reads but none of them have quite caught my attention like the first one I read did. Mannequin came from Mannikin, which was one of my very first fanfic names. Back in the day. It's a memorial.
The subtitle is a line from one of Poets of the Fall's songs. "And in the emptiness there's a solution/Just look within yourself for absolution". POTF has consistently been my favourite band, my soul music, for four years. It seems like longer. I can listen to each song a hundred times and still find something relavent in the beautiful lyrics. I can remember places, people, moments, when I listen to POTF, because it's like the memories have attached themselves to the music like a diary accumulating days.
NaNoWriMo in four days. I think, in a horribly hopeful way, that for the very reason that this year it's near impossible (I'm flying to Portugal for a week to work for charity, and before that three days in Munich for a debate tournament), it's going to be different from the other four years I've done NaNoWriMo. I've never won. 50,000 words in a month? I used to be able to write that. I used to. :( Did I grow up, is that what happened?
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| 2008-10-27 19:42 |
| Lavender Apples |
| Public |
| Poets of the Fall |
| nanowrimo |
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I have a list of characters.
I have a setting.
I have a plot.
I have an ending and a beginning.
I even have a middle.
I have three titles:
Lavender Apples, or, Eosophobia [fear of the dawn], or, The Static.
I'm ready, God, bring it on.
NaNoWriMo 2008, who's coming with me?
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| 2008-10-26 14:23 |
| New beginnings |
| Public |
| Rasputina |
| nepenthe |
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I just deleted all my old entries. For some reason I couldn't stand to look at them anymore. They were useless, wordy, self-centered, crazy.
Instead, I have a new "welcome" post. I'll talk about things that are very important to me, things I love so much each could mortally wound me.
The first is Nepenthe. She is my baby California kingsnake. I've only had her since August 23, but somehow I feel incredible love for her. Once, two weeks ago, I came home from a long day and she was unconscious, dehydrated and overheated. I thought she was dead--she wasn't moving and she was draped across the terrarium with her head buried in the wood chips. When I touched her, she was soft and gummy. I thought I had killed her by forgetting something, by being careless. When she began to lethargically move again, ten minutes later, I felt like I was redeemed. It was a miracle that my beloved snake was alive and unharmed, that she had come back to me when I thought we could never recover. I realized then how important she was for my happiness, this little snake.
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